Breaking My Soul
by anaime7
Summary: A strange woman thrusts her sword into Ichigo's body. From then on, Ichigo experiences hollowification. He is faced with the fact that he might lose his soul, his control over his body, and his love for his best friend, Rukia. AU Dark


_Disclaimer: ... ... ... ... ... I own nothing expect for these dots. Actually, I don't even own that much... hehe._

**_Warning: Short smex scenes in between. But the whole story is not going to be about it, I promise! Have some hope. There is a plot. _**

**_Also! You have to read A COMPLAINING NOTE TO SELF to understand this, it's the prequel, ish. You wouldn't understand a lot if you don't._**

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**Breaking My Soul**

**_By: anaime_**

**The Initial Stage: Burning**

_The state where your body suffers physically for the intrusion attack on your soul… The pain is like a flaring flame, fiery and hot._

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"You know…" she began, her fingertips lightly trailing over his sternum, causing a slight shiver to race through his body, "I think it's time for a little fun… what say you, love?"

Gently easing her fingertips, inked red with blood, off his chest, he rose from the soft plush cushions and regarded her slowly, dangerously, "what sort of fun, darling?"

Her plump, bloodless lips curved into a frightening smile, "oh, something fun, just to stir up some trouble below us."

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"Hmm… you know, I like him."

"That guy? Why, are you sure? I know he has lots of determination, he's strong-willed. Hmm… he might be good."

"Oh, I don't know, I can sense a lot of trouble if we turn him. He has lots of people he holds dear to his heart. Oh! You see that girl coming out from behind the cabinet?"

"Girlfriend?"

"No… they have a stronger bond than bed buddies. Oh, damn, that's one strong, pure bond. Ouch! Looking at it makes me cringe. Unresolved sexual tension, most definitely friends, probably from childhood."

"You know, they both look about to be in their early twenties… That's pretty impressive."

"It makes it more interesting, Devando. See how they cope up when the other's slowing dying inside."

"Silia, you know no human can stay together with another human when they turn. They all flee away. And you know the majority of those turned die anyways. No bond strong enough can endure the burning."

"Yes… I do know. I wanted some fun observing them anyways. I can feast on their devastation and have fun."

"You, dearest, are evil."

She responded back with a sly smile, and her once human eyes, now devoid of all colour except for pitch darkness, shone brightly with excitement and mirth.

"So, do you want to thrust it?"

"Of course, darling, what fun would it be if I didn't cause it?"

With that said, she materialized into the living world –it's not any humans can see her anyways-, drew up her sword, and thrust her sword inside the guy's heart.

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Ichigo had no time to react when a woman appeared out of thin air and charged at him with a three feet long, rusted dagger. The sword went right through his heart. Before he could do anything at all, the woman disappeared, and immense … pain overwhelmed him. He gripped his chest with his hand and flexed his muscles. The pain was a burning sensation, not pleasant, because the pain seared against his body, like someone was trying to eat him alive. Rukia, who was giggling ridiculously at something chappy, noticed the change in Ichigo's put up annoyed, scowling demeanour, and immediately gripped Ichigo's arms.

"Ichigo! Are you okay?"

Ichigo shook his head, trying to clear the hard fog of the searing pain which was stabbing throughout his body, and he wanted badly to let go, but the cooling touch of Rukia's palm stopped him from blacking out.

Now genuinely concerned, Rukia abandoned her chappy toy in her other arm and placed her other hand on top of Ichigo's forehead. Ichigo groaned silently. Rukia's touch had a calming affect on his body. He had no idea what happened, but before he could stop himself, his whole body slumped against Rukia's petite frame.

Rukia gasped and tried to hold Ichigo up, she immediately screamed for an ambulance, anything, because she was deathly afraid. Never had she in all her life seen Ichigo like this.

Ichigo passed out.

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Silia was grinning smugly at the scene in front of her. She'd already tasted fear as an appetizer from the girl, and it was delicious. Her lover, Devando, looked merely amused.

"Silia, did you notice that the boy had seen you when you materialized?"

Her large, almond eyes turned to him. "No… He had?"

"Yes, at least, I'm pretty sure that was surprise on his face."

She raised a thinly shaped eyebrow at him. "Hmm… that's interesting, I have never met a human who could see us. Oh well. It doesn't matter anyways."

Devando only looked at the boy who was being rushed unto a stretcher with slight curiousity.

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"Excuse me? Ma'am? How is he?"

A woman with a braid down her front faced Rukia, took in her ragged appearance, dishevelled hair, anxious face, and smiled kindly. "He's fine, Kuchiki-san. We don't know what happened, but his heart stopped beating in there for a few seconds. Don't worry though; he got himself moving before we did anything. Now he's fine."

Rukia's face had already paled when she heard that Ichigo's heart stopped beating, almost.

"Do you know, Kuchiki-san, if he used drugs?"

Rukia shook her head, devastated.

"Well, he's fine. He'll be free to go later today."

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Ichigo woke up and felt perfectly fine. He attempted to get up from this uncomfortable bed, but a weight on his stomach stopped him.

Rukia was sleeping peacefully, with her hair splayed out across the bed sheets. Ichigo smiled softly, he carefully brushed aside the stray strand of hair that was forever resting itself between Rukia's eyes. Ichigo's hand, on its own accord, brushed Rukia's soft, porcelain cheeks.

Ichigo stared at her soft-petal lips, and had an urge to caress it with his hand. However, before he could carry out with his desires, Rukia's pool deep eyes opened. Ichigo felt he was sinking as he stared into Rukia's orbs.

She smiled back at him with half-open lids, sleepily, drowsily. Rukia put her hand on the Ichigo's hand, and looking straight at Ichigo, said,"You scared me, moron. What happened?"

Ichigo gulped. Rukia was rarely serious, and when she was… The way her eyebrows furrowed together, the way her lips tensed up, the way her eyes searched his soul, it made Ichigo nervous. His blood hummed through his body, and his neck always felt hot. Ichigo denied that it was arousal, the evident libido that he had. He denied he wanted to slam Rukia against the wall and kiss the hell out of her when she was serious.

He silently fumed on why he wasn't allowed to do that.

Ichigo looked away with a scowl on his face. He ignored the fact that his hand was still on Rukia's cheeks.

"I have no idea. Just… listen..?"

Asking that was a complete waste of time, since Ichigo knew Rukia was listening, heart and soul.

"I saw a woman appear out of nowhere, and she thrust a dagger in my body. Right… here," Ichigo pointed to his chest and locked eyes with Rukia, "Rukia… I didn't imagine it. I know I didn't. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know what happened to my mother now."

Except for the fact that Rukia's eyes had widened considerably, she was still the same, there, steadying. And she believed him. Ichigo could see it in her eyes.

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Silia was probing the bond that hand like a red ribbon between her newest two victims with curiousity. Even if she tried to burn it, the searing sensation of her power just scarred her own fingertips. Their bond was strong. So strong, in fact, Silia would have almost done anything to reverse her thrusting her dagger into the boy's chest.

_Almost._

The part of her that was alive, the inhuman side with the hollow soul, was smirking at the bond that will be broken.

But since all her kind had an inkling of humanity, she decided to visit the boy tonight, because he could see her, and at least give him some forewarning.

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Ichigo was drifting through consciousness, half of his mind was residing in the living world, and the other half was floating in the bliss of not knowing. A woman suddenly appeared in front of him. Ichigo wasn't surprised… his soul was half expecting the woman who thrust a dagger into him.

She was deathly pale, with long, black fingernails sparkling with black dread. Her sclera was a pitch black, devoid of nothing except for the glittering yellow pupil. Her hair flowed down her naked back. She was dressed sparingly, and for the life of him, Ichigo could not figure out why he was not embarrassed or screaming bloody murder.

"Boy… you're even more interesting up close. I can see all the strings of your bond as clear as day, and they flow from your chest unharmed even though I already turned you…

"You will not remember this in the morning, but I'm just giving your soul inevitable warnings… Your soul will be aware, but your mind will not. It may help you, and this is my reprimand for ruining your fate.

"There are two sides to every human, a good side, the human side, and the evil side, the shade. When each and every human dies, they will go through a pathway out of this world. There soul will survive, dominate, over their shade. Unless the darker side has the reins, of course. But… what I've done to you today completely alters that natural process of renewal… The moment I thrust that dagger into your soul, your soul is damned. It's a painful, slow process of the darker side eating your soul… The souls that survive this process will die and become shades, like I am before you, child. We are a scarce number that is unfeeling and needs to feed on human despair to survive. We find no peace, and reside above the world of the living, constantly hungering, envying…

"This process if called… hollowification. Because your soul will be hollowed right out of your very being and filled with darkness.

"You've just gone through the initial stage today: _Burning… _the state where your body suffers physically for the intrusion attack on your soul. The pain is like a flaring flame, fiery and hot. Most people will not survive this stage, and what greets them after is far worse…"

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Ichigo woke up groggily and put a hand to his forehead. There was something queer about today, something was tugging at his soul, an echo of something forbidden. He couldn't quite grasp it. It was… a conversation of sorts. A woman. Something about _hollow_… Ichigo tried desperately to rack his brain for anything, and what he finally retrieved that was buried under conscious was these words:

"_The second stage will begin when a trigger sets; it is one that ignites tumult and uproars in your soul. Your ultimate desires will be magnified, your feelings exaggerated. Everything you feel will be emphasized." _

Ichigo's mind threw out the words he finally found the instant Rukia stepped into his bedroom.

Ichigo felt his lungs cave in when Rukia entered the room. As usual, she was in her half-shirt, half-dress thing that she had for pyjamas. Ichigo didn't know why, but suddenly, this morning, all the half-subdued lust Ichigo kept to himself burst forward in fresh, curling waves. It was like the world was moving in slow motion, and Ichigo only had his focus on Rukia, the way her hair moved across her shoulders and dipped in the hole above her collarbone, the way her vivid red, small lips was partly open, the way her half-lidded eyes scanned over his body.

Ichigo watched hungrily as a swift breeze from his open window caught Rukia's dress and the fringe of it danced upwards, revealing smooth, creamy white skin waiting for Ichigo to devour. He felt his pants tighten to a painful degree when Rukia climbed in his bed, and in that instant, she lowered her upper body, and Ichigo could see the defined line of her cleavage through her shirt, and she wasn't wearing a bra.

Shocked at the way his body responded to even the slightest bit of temptation, Ichigo tried to look away, and found that he couldn't even budge his eyes at the sight of Rukia's smiling, content face.

"Hey," she said sleepily, "I think I'll sleep here for awhile, Ichigo."

Ichigo's body experienced shudders when she whispered his name, it made him want to test her, see how she'll say his name in the blinding moments of passion. Rukia snuggled up to him, crept in his arms, and closed her eyes.

It took all Ichigo had to not to jump her like an animal and ravage her body until he was completely satisfied. It was only the way she glanced at him through long, thick eyelashes that stopped him. Her eyes spoke trust and safety, like nothing would happen to her as long as she was in his arms.

Ichigo made sure Rukia was deep in slumber before climbing out of bed before going into the bathroom to take care of his problem. He's never done that before for this situation. He usually just contented in breathing in Rukia's strawberry shampoo and falling asleep himself. But Ichigo didn't think that it would be wise to do that this time. On the way there, he tried to chase away the voice of the woman that came so easily to him now.

"_This stage is called… Tempest."_

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Rukia woke up to the sound of the shower of running. She hugged Ichigo's pillow to her face and inhaled slowly. She didn't know why, but something felt off today. Like, almost…

Oh, well, damn. Ichigo wasn't in bed with her.

Smacking herself mentally on the head, '_why else would the shower be on, stupid?' _she made a careful stretch. By now, the shower had stopped. Rukia waited diligently for Ichigo to come in and snuggle up against her, but seconds turned into minutes, and minutes into more minutes.

Shrugging her hair out of her face, Rukia padded across the hallway to the kitchen where Ichigo was currently fixing dry cereal.

"Hey, Strawberry. How come you woke up this early today?"

Ichigo spun around so fast that Rukia swore she had a pop coming from the direction of Ichigo's neck. Then, a sort of garble came from his throat and Ichigo quickly looked away.

"N-no reason," Ichigo's voice was husky, deep, and it sent shudders across Rukia's body.

"Oh. Okay. I'm meeting up with Soi Fon later in the gym, want to come?"

Ichigo stole a glance at Rukia. He was getting vexed, it was a real pain to keep his body under control. This… thing, whatever it was, wasn't going to mess up anything in his life with Rukia. He did some thinking in his cold shower and tried to dig up words, but all he could comprehend was that what he felt for Rukia was an overflowing lust, with no emotions to back up.

He was pretty sure he didn't want to just _fuck _Rukia, and if he let this supernatural lust in him rule, he would. The little midget in front of him was worth more to him than the whole entire world, and whatever she wanted (and it's _celibacy, _of all things), he would give her no matter what his expense is.

Ichigo had already steeled his resolve, and nothing was going to change it.

"Ichigo!"

His thoughts were interrupted when a few flicks of cereal that came his way, and they bounced off his head and he felt some normalcy return to his system.

"What the hell, purple-eyed freak?"

"You huge headed buffoon! I asked you a question!"

"Oh yeah? Well I might just _decline_ due to the fact that you asked so rudely!" Irritation was twice as strong. Damn. He was pretty sure he shouldn't be this rude.

Rukia's mouth fell open and screamed: "Fine! Have it your way, moronic strawberry!"

And then she dumped her entire bowl of cereal on Ichigo's head and snatched his bowl. It seems Rukia wasn't too proactive, either.

"Fuck! Rukia! I just showered!"

Her only response was a wide smirk as she happily raced into her own bedroom and locked her door.

"Midget! You took the last of the cereal!"

Ichigo heard Rukia _cackle_ evilly behind her door.

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Ichigo explored the crevices of Rukia's mouth. She was moaning beneath him, wet and warm. Ichigo forcefully nipped Rukia's tongue, wanting her to fight. It was sensory overload when Rukia fought back, domineering Ichigo's appendage with her own in a slick and heated competition. Her cool hands danced across his chest, flicked at his nipples, causing him to groan heatedly while fighting to control his body's needs.

He was fighting a lost battle. The lust to pound into the woman beneath him grew like cancer in his body, expanding, exploding, destroying.

Ichigo snapped when Rukia's mouth found the tense joint that connected his neck and shoulders. His lower body grounded into her forcefully, invading her privates, and Rukia gasped for air. He pulled back a little, only to send sensations in his groin tingling when he pushed back into her for more strength than before. Rukia bit on the cords of his neck then, pain and pleasure laced through his body.

Ichigo awoke, gasping air and fully aware of the tent in his boxers. That dream... that was intense. It was like it was real, and Ichigo could still feel it, waves of heat that rushed through his body, matching his pulse. His eyes glinted through the dark night, and almost, just almost, something black flashed in them.

And Ichigo's eyes were amber.

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_Oho! Never thought my messed up brain could conjure up such a messed up idea, right? Lemme know what you think. Reviews are everything in fanfiction. And yes, I felt slightly discouraged for the lack of reviews I had for the prequel of this story... Without them, fanfiction writers are not sure how to proceed on. Was the scenes good (y'know which scenes I'm talking about... hehe)? _

_Give me your support, people! The are like the cherry to the ultimate sundae! As always, point out the mistakes I have missed, you have my extended thanks. _

_-luv, anaime_


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